The Scene Nobody Warns You About

You’ve pictured it: your toddler gently cradling the new baby, everyone glowing, the light perfect. And then the day arrives and your toddler wants absolutely nothing to do with the baby and everything to do with climbing on top of you.

Sound familiar?

Here’s what I want you to know before your session: that is completely okay. Actually, it’s more than okay. It’s real life, and real life is exactly what I’m here to photograph.

Including older siblings in a newborn session doesn’t have to look like a posed greeting card. And honestly? The sessions that let go of that expectation tend to be the ones that turn into the most beautiful, honest images.

The Expectation vs. The Reality

I think a lot of parents walk into a newborn session with a mental checklist.

Toddler holds baby. Everyone looks at camera. Done.

And I get it – you want the proof that your kids exist in the same frame at the same moment in time. That makes total sense.

But toddlers didn’t get the memo. They’re in their own world, processing a massive life change (a tiny human just showed up and took over, after all), and they are going to do exactly what they want, when they want.

That’s not a problem to fix. That’s just toddlerhood.

My job isn’t to force a shot list. It’s to pay attention to what’s actually happening in the room and find the beauty in that.

What Actually Works (From Someone Who’s Seen It All)

1. Don’t force it – seriously

I know everyone says this, but I mean it in a very practical way. If a toddler has zero interest in holding baby, we skip it. Full stop. Toddlers move fast, they don’t always understand their own strength, and the last thing anyone needs is baby getting handled like a rag doll because we were chasing a shot.

Safety and comfort come before any photo.

2. Work with the mood they showed up with

I had a session where the toddler was completely attached to mom and wanted nothing to do with the baby. Instead of coaxing or bribing (which, in my experience, doesn’t work anyway), we just leaned into it.

Dad took over baby duties with me. Mom focused entirely on big sibling. We talked about the toddler helping mom, not posing with baby. And through some intentional cropping and a whole lot of family snuggling, we still got beautiful sibling images – ones that actually told the truth about that season of life.

3. Lead with calm, not correction

Negative feedback and discipline in the middle of a session doesn’t bring out the best in anyone – you or your toddler. A calm, positive presence makes a bigger difference than any amount of prompting or redirecting.

I don’t raise my voice. I don’t push. I just stay steady and keep things moving in a low-key way, because that energy is contagious (the good kind).

4. Give toddlers a job

Big kids – even little ones – respond well to having a role. “Can you help mommy hold this?” or “Can you sit right here with me and keep me warm?” goes a lot further than “okay, now smile at the camera.” Give them something to do and you’d be surprised how naturally the moment unfolds.

5. Reframe what a sibling photo looks like

Sibling photos don’t have to mean baby-in-arms. They can mean a toddler pressed up against mom while dad holds the baby on the couch. They can mean tiny hands resting near baby’s feet. They can mean a family pile-up on the bed where everyone is just together.

Some of my favourite sibling shots come from moments nobody planned.

What I Wish Every Parent Knew Before Walking In

I hear “I’m so sorry in advance for my toddler’s behaviour” more times than I can count. And I want you to hear me when I say: please don’t apologize.

Every toddler adapts to change differently. I’ve seen siblings who immediately dote over baby. I’ve seen siblings who are less than thrilled (to put it gently). Neither is better or worse. Neither makes for bad photos.

What actually matters is that everyone in the room feels comfortable and safe.

Before your session, take a few deep breaths. Acknowledge that this stage of life is both beautiful and hard – and that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be. Let go of the perfect version in your head. Show your toddler (and your partner) some grace.

I promise: it will not only photograph better, it will feel like a better experience too.

This is the Season You’re In

The chaos, the attachment, the big feelings, the tiny hands – this is it. This is the story. And ten years from now, you’re not going to wish your toddler had smiled wider. You’re going to be so grateful you have images that captured exactly what life felt like in that moment.

That’s what I’m here for.

If you’re planning a newborn session and wondering how to make it work with an older sibling in the mix, I’d love to chat. Every family is different, and I’ll meet yours exactly where you are.

Get in touch here and let’s make something real together.

Chat soon,
B